Everything I learned in my twenties

It’s a new decade! Did you think by mid-January you would escape people saying this? Sorry not sorry.

It just so happens that this decade 2010-2019 actually aligns perfectly with my twenties. Your twenties are a decade so many people look back with adoration, regret, nostalgia and various amounts of shame and laughter.

I am technically still in my twenties for another five months, but to celebrate the end of the decade and the start of a new one I thought I would dive back into my blog with some reflection of what I learned during this adventurous chapter.

 I don’t claim to have all the answers about being a twenty-something in fact at my first counseling appointment of 2020 my counselor said, “It seems like the more you know about yourself, the more you don’t know” and I couldn’t agree more. 

I don’t want to share with you all my wins, triumphs and trips although I think it is impossible to share my lessons without giving you some context. 

Everything I learned in my twenties

I began my twenties as a sophomore in college living in a sorority house with 30 other girls attending the number one party school in the United States at the time. Let’s just say, it was not an innocent or boring time in my life. I also changed my major from psychology to education & began the path of becoming a teacher. I spent the next three years as a leader in my sorority, a wild child, student- teacher, new auntie, girlfriend and of course a student. 

By my last year at WVU, I was sitting in my graduate school class for my MA in Education and had a huge realization that I didn’t actually want to be a teacher. Not in the American public school system anyway. I made the impulsive decision, at happy hour with my dear friend, to apply to teaching abroad programs. I graduated with straight A’s but a whole lot of questions. We both got into the program to teach in Thailand in 2013-2014 which changed the trajectory of my life forever. The travel bug bit and it bit hard. 

While I lived there I struggled with extreme heartbreak & infidelity and losing love while living on the other side of the world. Luckily, I was introduced to the most important love of my life on that trip too, my true self. My soul. My essence. And the courage to meet her.

From 2015-2017 I traveled, lived, and taught in New York, Australia, New Zealand and had stints of long term travel in between. I also started an online business on the side of teaching that again, would change the trajectory of my life. My wellness coaching business showed me how to channel all my pain into movement and helping people rather than dancing on tables and staying out until 4 am.  I also met the actual love of my life in Australia and now we are engaged & I live with him in a small seaside town in the South West of England. We’re tackling this adulting and settling down thing together, but as he said to me when I cried to him over visa drama, “You were never meant to live a normal life.” So adulting looks different on me and on us and I like that. 

My adventures around the world have introduced me to adventuring through myself. The longest, hardest, most frustrating but beautiful trip I’ve ever taken.

The Decade Challenge… better late than never

I have gone from an outgoing, anxious, bubbly, intellectual, grief stricken, self medicating twenty year old girl…

to an outgoing, self aware, bubbly, intellectual, reflective, dynamic twenty nine year old woman.

I have found the true party I needed, one of self improvement, health, self-love, world travel, mindfulness and spirituality.

I learned to write my own advice instead of seeking it.

I learned to share freely because sharing and writing are things I crave.

Here are some of my most important lessons that I hope can help 20 somethings just like my former myself or inspire those who are in my shoes at any age…

Let’s start with…the hangover isn’t worth it.

Cleaning your room isn’t procrastinating, you need a clean space for a clean mind

It’s okay to ask for help

The comedown of Adderall isn’t worth it- there is another way 

Productivity does not equal worth

There is a reason you are presented with the same lesson, you haven’t learned it

You are the thinker of your thoughts, don’t apologize for optimism and don’t go down that rabbithole (or that one…) 

Smile and laughter is universal. You can also try your best at charades

Having more won’t make you more

Nutrition severely impacts your mental health 

It’s okay to ask for help

Book the flight. Figure it out. 

Forgiveness takes one person- one party 

Healing takes time. Gratitude journals help the process

Sometimes you just need to cry. Seriously. 

Love lost doesn’t mean the love didn’t matter-people change. Friends, lovers, family. 

Human beings are resilient creatures

“You don’t have to have a problem with alcohol to have a problem with alcohol”

The friends you think will stick around won’t be the ones who do 

Make friends with chores, they aren’t going anywhere (still working on this one) 

Business is simple, mindset can be complicated 

Loans suck. Don’t dwell on them

Dancing makes everything better 

Abundance is available to all of us. 

It’s okay to ask for help

Slowing down feels foreign that doesn’t mean it’s wrong

Stop buying clothes you don’t need. Save for experiences 

You don’t need everyone to like you 

You actually have thick skin- use that to your advantage 

Movement is truly medicine 

People need YOUR voice 

Your writing is a gift. Don’t waste it. 

Compassion includes compassion for yourself 

There is no wagon

Feelings are cool 

It’s okay to ask for help

Love & self love are both verbs-  continual actions.

Procrastination makes you anxious 

A lot of people won’t understand your spirituality, they don’t need to

GO OUTSIDE! Like NOW! Take a break

Meditation isn’t supposed to feel easy or comfortable 

Helping people will always be purposeful 

Social media is neutral, you use it in good & bad ways 

Limit your screen time, before you’re anxious 

Those who really love you will always be there, regardless of time, distance, or how often you talk.

It’s okay to ask for help

Your mind will never function like everyone else’s that is okay

Your self love and confidence have become second nature, that’s not the case for so many

Mental health impact is your deepest why 

Rituals and habits will make life easier

Life is rigged in your favor 

Protect your energy. Just because you have a lot of it doesn’t mean you can give it all away

All we have is now. Life is NOW. 

DO NOT PRESS THE SNOOZE BUTTON. EVER. 

No phone in the bedroom.

Empathy is a superpower. Empathy is your superpower. 

Continue to be someone who does what they say they will do- it’s a lost art.

Being a perpetual learner is great- but action is necessary 

It’s okay to ask for help. 

And for the last time…The hangover isn’t worth it.

But becoming your true self.. that definitely is. 

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