I have been in the LAX airport for almost 24 hours. My connecting flight from Chicago was delayed last night which led me to miss my connecting flight to Sydney. Little did I know that there is only flight from LAX to Sydney per day with United Airlines and thanks to poor customer service and my overtired frustration-it landed me sleeping in the airport. Around 5 am I peeled my eyes open, wiped the drool from my neck pillow and half way sleeping limped my way to the United Club lounge. I paid for the day to eat, drink, and lounge in comfy leather chairs as I wait for my flight to leave for Sydney tonight. I was sitting next to two young Australian girls in line at customer service last night who were chatting and laughing saying they were lucky their other friend went a different route home or he would have been pissed and miserable. They were in the same boat I was but just didn’t seem to be letting it phase them. I realized, although I was not their friend, and too tired to even form friendly words, I was the friend being pissed and miserable. I’ve spent 24 hours  in the airport after one of the best month vacations of my life. I’m alive, I’m in great health, my family is loving and supportive, I got to spend time with SO many people who I love dearly,  I have a sexy English boyfriend who is picking me up at the airport and the happiest little life to return to down under, WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?

It’s funny because while I was driving down to NYC with my parents, I was browsing quotes and musing about my trip and I came across a photo of a dandelion with the quote, “Some see a weed, some see a wish.” I discussed in my post how happy I was that I had the ability to see the worst scenario as a chance to grow and learn. And then, there I was in a shitty situation(a day later) feeling angry, victimized, and exhausted to the point where I contemplated a 5 year old brat meltdown as a viable option for my frustrations. I am telling you this not because I am still angry but because I want to remind myself how easy it is to let trials and tribulations in life overwhelm us. It’s funny, it was like I knew that my future self needed that advice.  It doesn’t matter how happy you are, what job you have , how much money you have in the bank- we all get overwhelmed by the stress and curveballs that life throws our way. Just because I consider myself to be a positive person, does not mean that I am immune from these feelings or situations. What it does mean is that I know how to fix these feelings… quickly.

I went to bed on the airport chairs with my tiny navy blue blankets and my possessions strategically stacked under me in case of criminals lurking in the night. I was still beyond annoyed but thinking about the chipper girls in line behind me just laughing it off and rolling with the punches, I felt even more frustrated because usually that’s me. I woke up to airport staff clearing out everyone from our section because they needed to rearrange the seats. I was startled and half asleep and felt like I was in some sort of homeless person village with all of the fellow travelers in the same boat as me. I woke up surprisingly in a better mood. I realized that this isn’t the worst thing that could happen and gave me a built in day to catch up with my clients, coaches, emails, messages, and now my blog. I’ve watched a few Ted Talks and YouTube training videos from a few entrepreneurs and people I look up to. I spent a lot of time in Podcast land. Sure, I’m a little bored but I’m using it as a positive, focused time to work on my business and myself. And, after a few mimosas life doesn’t seem so bad.  

It’s funny because I love having time to reflect. I thought that the 23 hour journey back to Sydney was plenty of time but apparently the universe had other plans for me. My last couple weeks at home were filled with so many quality moments with my family, especially my mom. We went to my Aunt’s in Pennsylvania for not one but two of my cousin’s children’s baptisms. It was a fun filled weekend of reunions, lots of babies and LOTS of food. I love my family because we are truly a crew that is “Come as you are.” We are far from perfect but the amount of love, quirkiness and hilarious stories we have make up for it. Back in Syracuse, I went for hikes and adventures with my mom and spent time with two of my best friends since I was 11 years old. Something is so special about coming home to people who love you for everything you were and everything you are now. My life has moved in a completely different direction than most of my friends and family but the satisfaction it brings me to have their support and understanding no matter what is irreplaceable.

It’s funny because many times before I was leaving people said, “When are you going back?” I was texting my boyfriend, “I can’t wait to come home.” And then I looked around…wait, I am home. It is mind boggling to me that I am even returning to Australia because I only intended to stay for my one year working holiday visa. It is crazy to think that a place I moved a year ago with two backpacks and no job is now a place that I consider home. Life is absolutely miraculous when you are open to possibility. It is more than just being open though, you also must take action that pushes you into a place of vulnerability but availability. Countless friends and acquaintances tell me “I’m so lucky.” I hear this so much it starts to make me a little crazy. Do I feel very grateful and fortunate for my life? Of course, but it is something that I attracted to me by the law of attraction and the constant belief in myself and my dreams. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel when there wasn’t even a tunnel. I made a home on the other side of the world because I was willing to go through months and months of backpacking, being alone, feeling afraid, confused, like a made a mistake, pissed I was living in a hostel, etc. You might hear about and see the highlights but I promise you, moving across the world on your own is no walk in the park.

When you peel back the pretty photos and the fun adventures, you see a scared little lady who decided to go for it. And believed it would work out. I have discovered countless things about myself traveling the world and living abroad but going home again always solidifies those lessons. Home will always be home for me. But the greatest feat of all, is feeling at home within yourself. I can be alone on the other side of the world but I am confident enough in who I am and where I’m going to feel at home. Nothing can ever replace the people at home, but nothing gives you more strength than knowing they will always be there for you. They want you to do what makes you happy and ultimately you are the only one who knows what that is. The further away you roam the closer you feel to home. Home within yourself. Coincidently, you are the only person you are stuck with for the rest of your life. You can be the grumpy frustrated human feeling sorry for yourself or you can roll with the punches and live in a way that excites and satisfies you. You can choose to laugh it off and find something positive. Being positive doesn’t equate to being perfect it just means you have a self-awareness and an ability to point out the times you are letting that negative light in. The deeper you come to know yourself, the easier it is to get on that plane and fly wherever your heart desires. For me, this isn’t figurative speech, but for you it very well could be. Listen to yourself and what makes you feel at home. If you haven’t found it, keep looking and keep your mind and heart open so when it arrives you won’t be too jaded, frustrated, or scared to find a different home.  And if all else fails, have a mimosa.