My Thai Thankstory

November 28, 2013January 4, 20151 Comment

I wanted to begin this post “ The root of travel and adventure is…” and then I typed about 50 different phrases and furiously deleted them. I am a very fluid style writer and I often do not change one thing until I reach the end. I couldn’t pin point the root or the heart of travel or adventure while simultaneously representing my infatuation with it. I ask you my fellow writers, readers, friends, family… what is the root of travel and adventure for you? Why do vastly different people love to travel so much? How do we seek new horizons but still value and nurture the people who helped us create our past?

If you asked me today, about adventure I would immediately think of my latest adventure to the tropical island of Ko Samet in the Gulf of Thailand. I would immediately feel thankful for adventure. My students went to “Scout Camp” last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so I didn’t have any classes to teach. Our boss told us we still needed to report to school normally and use those days to plan. Mid-day Wednesday, he told us that we might get a holiday on Friday and possibly even Thursday after a brief staff meeting. Only in Thailand would a holiday from school be so nonchalant. In this instance, I was not complaining.

Next thing I know its Friday afternoon and I am on a bus to Ban Pae, a coastal town about 3 hours east of Bangkok. We booked a hostel there and would take the ferry to Ko Samet in the morning! Wait…what? I shit you not, this is how randomly this adventure came about. It was the best surprise ever. The second we left the dock and the ocean was all around me I began to consciously remind myself how lucky I was to be there. When you consciously remind yourself to be thankful proactively instead of retroactively it heightens your experience 10 fold. The weekend was full of sandy beaches, coconuts, whiskey, beer, snorkeling, boat rides, swimming in the ocean, hookah, wasabi pea eating contests, and relaxing on the beach. I was finishing up my latest read The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. I love reading on the beach but finishing this emotional account of fictitious Vietnam stories made me feel guilty for how good I felt…young, free, and careless on the beach. But O’Brien’s words resonated with me,

““Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can’t remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.”

I should not feel guilty for enjoying myself. I am honoring the stories from the past and making them a part of my present and future. I am writing stories of my own so that I can be a part of the future. That gives me an overwhelming sense of power and a duty to represent my generation, my family and myself in a positive and genuine manner. Hopefully this blog is my first step in doing just that!

We couldn’t have asked for more perfect weather all day Friday and all day Saturday on the island. But Sunday morning we woke up feeling fragile and facing a 40 minute monsoon…right at check out. No umbrellas, a few injuries from the weekend shenanigans made traveling 8 hours home seem like a punishment for how amazing our trip was. But nothing could take away the afterglow of island bliss. Thailand is simply amazing and Ko Samet reminded me how lucky I am to be a part of it.

This week at school has flown by and I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching my students about Thanksgiving. Jackie and I had them create hand turkeys and write five things they are thankful for. Of course we had to first teach them what turkeys were, Thanksgiving, and what thankful meant. Almost every single student wrote they were thankful for their teachers. The best part is that I actually believe them. One child’s hand turkey stands out to me, it was very typical at first but the last one through me for a loop, “my bed”. So simple, yet so heartbreaking, especially because I walk by shacks, apartments, store fronts every single day and see little children sleeping on the ground on paper-thin mats or wooden benches. I often create stories for them in my head, and carry them along with me as a travel. All apart of the things we carry. When you have very little, you are reminded what is truly important. You are reminded the abundance of people, luxuries, and experiences each and every one of us have to be thankful for.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in Thailand, I am at school and it feels like any typical day. My American friends and I made makeshift turkey treats to pass out to our office. We will watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with our ninth graders and will be teaching our 7^th graders the “Five Little Turkeys” song. We decided to have our own “Thanksgiving Dinner” tonight at one of our favorite local restaurants. We invited all of the American teachers that live in our apartment complex so it will make 12 of us. We will all bring wine and definitely will eat well (although we won’t have turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy or anything remotely close). I already informed the crew that we must go around and say what we are thankful for (Momma Sus comes out where ever I am). I set up Skype dates with my family at their Thanksgiving celebration and also my boyfriend’s family. Not only is it Thanksgiving but it is also my boyfriends birthday today (November 28). I want more than anything to squeeze him and take him out for celebrations but I have a surprise planned I hope he loves. I would do anything to make him feel how special he is to me and how thankful I am he is mine.

Being so far away at a time that is all about family, friends and togetherness is in no way easy but it truly is teaching me what the holiday is about. When I try to explain Thanksgiving to my students or my coworkers from Australia, Thailand and China I picture my Aunt Shelly’s house and everyone running around the kitchen drinking homemade beer and wine, laughing, dancing, and Aunt Shirl cooking up a storm. I hear my Noni’s Norwegian prayer swaying softly in my ears(even if we botch up the words). I can’t even think about how damn good the food tastes or I will slobber on my keyboard.

But most of all I tell them, it is a day to truly celebrate and appreciate everything you have, no matter if it is 10 feet in front of you, across a few continents or no longer in the physical world. My friends and family at home, I encourage you to be extra thankful this year for being able to celebrate with people you love… Don’t take for granted those precious moments with your siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, lovers and friends. Those moments are what Thanksgiving is about. Those moments are what life is about. Don’t let the hangover from TGE or the football distract from the essence of the celebration. Today (and everyday) I feel gratitude, I feel nostalgia, I feel love and I feel thankful.

I could travel the whole world 10 times over, but nothing can replace the bonds of love, support, laughter, and the feeling of home that the people I care about the most embody. For now I will take O’Brien’s advice, cling to the stories to link my heart and mind to the past and the future and I will take my own advice for the present and be thankful proactively instead of retroactively. It’s a good day to be an American, a Mountaineer, a Bell, a Donovan, a girlfriend, a friend, a traveler and a teacher, wherever you may be. Happy Birthday to “That Guy” I love the most & Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful you are a part of my story.

The Most Beautiful People

November 18, 2013January 4, 20151 Comment

Since my last post I have been busy teaching, binge watching Orange is the New Black, picking up a new workout and hobby (Muay Thai) and traveling. I realized I only wrote a draft for this but never posted it, so I will post two in a row to make things less confusing. I love my blog but I also love writing for myself. Blogs can be for yourself but I believe when you write with the knowledge that you have an audience you subconsciously change the way you present your thoughts and emotions. Some thoughts and emotions of this journey I have to hash out on my own…

Jackie and I decided to explore Suphanburi again for a weekend. Teaching is extremely draining and we don’t want to wear ourselves out by pushing ourselves to explore too much, too soon. The last few weeks were all about getting back into a routine healthy lifestyle that I have somewhat neglected in my adjustment to this new world. I am an avid runner and gym-goer who enjoys eating a healthy diet with occasional splurges. I loved to cook for myself back in the US, so eating out every night was a huge adjustment. I also have been warned by just about every person I talk to that I should never run alone here, so that kind of cancels running out of the equation. Luckily, there are many alternatives to explore. I have been going to yoga class with foreign teachers from my school twice a week and I have started up the Insanity dvds (once again). I swear it is an addiction…

One day on the songtow (mini bus) on my way to yoga, a young Thai girl asked me where I was going in an extremely Western sounding accent. Surprised, I told her I was going to yoga class and she asked if Jackie and I were interested in coming to Muay Thai class instead. Without hesitation… we both replied, “Sure!” Our impulsive attitudes are a great asset to traveling (but sometimes a burden to our bank accounts 😉 ) Muay Thai is martial arts/boxing style fighting that is famous all over Thailand and the world. It was extremely awkward walking into a huge open gym with dozens of half naked Thai children in silky high waisted boxing shorts.

The young girl explained to us that she studied abroad in the US two years ago (explained her impeccable English) and that she would translate for us. The Muay Thai instructor spoke very little English but he was very excited to have us there and paid a lot of attention to us throughout the workout. We worked on kicking, kneeing, elbows, push ups, sit ups and a variety of moves and by the end we felt tired, sweaty and accomplished. He invited us back whenever we want and we have already been again a few times! It is a great workout and despite the stares burning through us as we awkwardly attempt the moves, it is a lot of fun too! Plus… it’s free… which is a great thing no matter what country or continent you are on. I love working out and anything that makes you sweat. I love the challenge and I love endorphins. I am addicted to the way I feel after a great workout, no matter what that workout may be. I am so excited to have a variety of options to keep me active and release my hyperactive energy in a positive form.

School remains exciting and challenging everyday. Everyday I realize things about my students and about teaching EFL that I didn’t know the day before. It is frustrating but it is also motivating to discover the most affective ways to help our students better not only their English but also their lives! I enjoy the fact that my job is like a constant riddle or puzzle, which takes tons of patience, creativity, resilience and thinking to be successful. I feel stimulated by this task that others may find daunting. That’s how I know that teaching is the right job for me! I depend on my kids just as much as they depend on me. They are my constant in this new adventure and they give me purpose when I feel like a lonely traveler, when I miss home, when I struggle to maintain my old life and embrace my new one.

In today’s society we expect instant gratification for every aspect of life. We expect every question to have an answer that we can find from a quick Google search. We expect to understand our culture shock and moving away from the ones we love and care about the most. We expect for long distance love to be hard but we don’t really know how hard it will be. Life is messy, human beings are complex, no matter how much the world around us changes and advances, our minds and our hearts are primitive. Our pain is raw. Our love is powerful. Our sadness prevails. Our kindness prevails. Human beings and their emotions don’t fit into the Google search page. I wish I could read a book, “What to do when your life changes” but no advice in the world could prepare me for the emotional roller coaster that I have been on in this fresh chapter of my life. One day at a time… That is the only way to tackle this beast. You can’t break down the world’s wicked ways no matter how hard you try. Some days simply breathing should be enough to be grateful for. Now matter how hard I try, I know I can’t fix everything all at once, but I can fix the way I allow it to affect me. I can let it drive me to be better: more compassionate, gentle, and mindful. Every single person fights their own battles and it only is easier if we lean on each other when we cannot stand on our own.Human beings hate being vulnerable but vulnerability is an exceptional part of being a human being.

For someone who loves to help and give advice to friends and family, it is difficult to admit I don’t have the answers or even the right questions. It is difficult to admit my utter vulnerability but I can’t escape it and I am doing the best I can. “Even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on okay…”

“If you look closely at a tree you’ll notice it’s knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully. ” Matthew Fox

“It’s not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.” Stephen Fry

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. “ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The Little Things

November 6, 2013November 7, 20135 Comments

“Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are.”- G. Eliot

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.”-M. Buber

“If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing you may find you’re missing all the rest”- DMB

“ The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.”-Euripides

I believe the best writers find comfort in words, whether they are their own words or someone else’s. The best writers can acknowledge the process and the product and allow for both to inspire them. I felt drawn to these quotes today and admit that they simply and eloquently depict the image I hope to convey with my post. Hats off to these writers!

Slowly but surely, I am adjusting to my new life in Thailand. I am quickly forming routines, local restaurants and coffee shops I frequent, and new friends. Teaching is beginning to dictate my bedtime and it feels good to form a “normal” schedule. Then… some moments I look around and it hits me “Holy shit… I live in Thailand.” Since my last post I have explored around my town of Suphanburi and found new cafes, bars, friends, swimming pools that I plan to visit again and again. Despite the urge to travel to a new city or place every single weekend; it feels nice to plant some temporary roots and embrace the city I will call home for the next year.

Today I received a package from my parents with various necessities I requested. Just seeing the note with my mom’s handwriting on it made my heart smile. When I describe my feelings, I never want to be cliché, but I have started to see the true power and authenticity of certain cliché sayings in a new light. “It’s the little things.” We have all heard that phrase a million times, but being a foreigner on the other side of the world teaches you this cliché in an elevated manner. It’s the little things you miss about home, about loved ones, about “normal” life but it is also the little things about my new surroundings that excite me, challenge me and inspire me. I appreciate the people in my life and the luxuries that I took for granted every day, like internet (especially WIFI), cable, menus in English, toilet paper, hand dryers, and the ease of everyday communication. But I also appreciate the respect I receive here, the flowers I got to welcome me to my school, the laid back lifestyle and the incredible generosity of strangers.

When everything is different, it forces you to grow, to adapt, to change but it also leaves you craving the familiar and reminiscing about places, people and memories that you love. Each day is a spastic balance of soaking up the adventure, living in the moment and missing friends, family, and especially my boyfriend. I hope each of you know how much you are on my mind, even though we can’t talk as much as I would like. To truly find ourselves, we can’t cling to the familiar. We must trust in those we love and remember they will love us just the same, whether we are near or far. I have learned to embrace the roller coaster of emotions that run through me in a given day. They are there for a reason and to truly live, we must feel. It doesn’t matter if it is cheerful, gloomy, frustrated, scared, amazed, nostalgic, angry, excited or goofy. If we are feeling…we are living.

Luckily, I have the stability of teaching to keep me level headed. Jackie and I have discussed how the place that we feel the most at “home” is at our school. Teaching, learning, laughing, thinking, writing lesson plans, and grading; these are all familiar to us. The students in Thailand (as a whole) are much different than any students I had in America. They seem genuinely happy every single day. I am not sure if this is how they actually feel, but it is the energy they give off. I can’t help but smile when I get to school and am greeted by each and every one of my students as I pass them. Most American students were too cool to talk to teachers in the hallway and would pretend not to see you. Being an ESL/EFL teacher has proven to be increasingly frustrating as time goes on and I am realizing that it is extremely hard to understand what they comprehend and what they are politely nodding to (despite having no clue what is going on). Thankfully, I have found amazing resources in veteran ESL teachers at my school, online ESL/EFL games, lesson plans, songs, videos, etc. I know that if I give my best, there is nothing more anyone can ask of me.

Teaching and learning is the essence of my journey. Yes, I am literally a teacher, but I am also a student. Thailand, along with each person I meet here, is teaching me things about human nature, life, and myself. I am continuously learning, which is exhilarating and exhausting. But I must remind myself, it is up to me which of those feelings dictate my experience. I choose to live. I choose to feel. I choose exhilarating, beautiful adventure.

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,

we must carry it with us or we find it not.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude Attitude

October 21, 2013April 7, 20153 Comments

Today is my first day at my new school Sa-nguan Ying (English Program). I am so happy with my school, my co-workers and my students. It is nice to be teaching again after a long period of vacation in the United States and in Thailand! Since my last post so much has happened. I have been in Thailand for over a week and I am continuously surprised, frustrated, excited and challenged. Our orientation group left Bangkok last Thursday and went for an overnight trip to the rural town of Katchanburi. Our hotel was resort style and the view and grounds were spectacular. We visited the River Kwai bridge,took a sunset dinner cruise(which turned into a monsoon dance party),rafted down the Kwai River and explored Taweechai Elephant Camp. I got to ride an elephant, watch an elephant show and take priceless photos. After lunch orientation came to an end and I had to say goodbye to many friends who will be teaching all over Thailand. “Chok dee ka” to you all!!

Four other American women and I got into our van marked “Sa-nguan Ying”, met our coordinator and found out that we would be going to visit our new school…RIGHT NOW! Mind you, we didn’t have a moment to shower after the rafting and elephant ride… Not the best first impression. Butterflies filled my stomach as we drove through the luscious green fields that make up rural Thailand. The girls and I anxiously chattered and giggled the whole time. When I arrived at my school I felt ecstatic, relieved, and eager. The campus is beautiful and the staff is more than willing and able to help the new “farang” teachers.

Finally we arrived at our apartment, which is literally within 3 minutes walking distance of our school. I received my key and charged to the elevator fumbling over my suitcase. I arrived on the fourth floor and walked into the most shocking moment of helplessness since arriving in Thailand. The numbers were in THAI!! I wandered aimlessly from door to door trying my key on a few of them. I felt frustrated, isolated and exhausted. Luckily our coordinator followed us upstairs shortly after and led us to the right door. My feeling of helplessness subsided due to the incredibly welcoming atmosphere that my school and Thailand in general continuously offer to me. I am so grateful for my accommodations especially compared to some friends I have talked to that are in different parts of the country. After moving in the next few days have been a whirlwind of trying new places, exploring, getting lost, trying desperately to speak some form of Thai, shopping, eating, drinking and soaking up my surroundings. The fluidity of my feelings is astounding! One minute I am frustrated and the next I am delighted.

I feel extremely safe despite feeling like an alien. I am already used to being stared at with not even a hint of subtlety. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude for my fellow teachers who have helped me get around, my partner in crime Jackie, and my loved ones who are cheering me on every step of the way. Coincidently my partner in crime for this adventure has also become my partner in crime in the classroom. Jackie and I found out that we would be team teaching upon arrival at our school. It was surprising but we both embraced the idea with open arms. Two heads are always better than one. I feel appreciated by my students already due to the polite “ GOOD MORNING TEACHA” at the beginning of each class and the “THANK YOU TEACHA” at the end. So refreshing. I think I’ll shout to this country “GOOD MORNING THAILAND” and “THANK YOU THAILAND” before bed to practice gratitude. I can only hope I feel this inspired for the extent of my journey.

My wifi moves at a turtle’s pace! For more photos check out my Facebook Album! ❤ xoxo

Party in the USA

September 30, 2013January 4, 20151 Comment

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The last few months have been quite the adventure themselves leading up to my Thailand adventure. I have been busy traveling visiting family, friends, and beautiful places all across the country. It is so amazing how many beautiful places are on the East Coast. These photos give you a taste of what I saw including Southern West Virginia, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Pittsburgh, Boston, NYC, Long Island, West Virginia, and Syracuse, NY. The fact that I am traveling into such an unfamiliar world has given me a fresh set of eyes for the world that surrounds me; especially the people. I know I will not be able to see them, drink a glass of wine with them, laugh with them or hug them for a whole year. It is honestly scary but I thank my lucky stars for Skype and all of the technology we have in society today to make things easier. I also appreciate the opportunity to go away because it reminds me how much I value these special people in my life and how lucky I am to be surrounded by such supportive, intelligent, loving, funny individuals. The joy that my family and friends get from watching me succeed makes my success and desire to conquer new continents vastly larger. I am so happy to have this outlet to stay connected to the people who matter the most to me because I presume the time difference and busy life schedules will make communication challenging.

I leave for NYC this Friday for one final reunion with family, friends and my boyfriend. I am so excited but so overwhelmed to have to say goodbye to so many people I care about all at once. Then I am flying out to LA with Jackie to visit our friend from WVU and break up the long journey to Thailand. In TEN short days, I will be hopping aboard the 19 hour flight to Thailand! I have been looking forward to this trip since February! Now the nerves and an anxious giddy feeling is building up inside of me! I know how amazing this adventure is going to be; but truly as much as I can talk about how much it will change my life and how incredible it will be; I don’t know how it will change me as a person, what I will learn, who I will meet, what I will see or what I will feel. I sit here in the home I grew up in as I write this, safe and comfortable but yearning for more. Yearning to touch, to see, to feel, to dance, to shout, to climb mountains and ride elephants, teach children and let them teach me. I would start running to Thailand this very instant if I could, but for now I am soaking up the precious moments with those I love the most and will miss very much over the next year. The greatest gift these people have given me is the confidence in my self to embark on this journey, the love and support. I feel you cheering me on from all over and that is the only reason I am able to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. Thank you so much. I will leave you with a quote about adventure that sums up my feelings at the moment,

” Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to,perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground”- Judith Thurman

Catch me if you can! CHEERS ❤ xoxo

Exploration Preparation

August 27, 2013April 7, 20155 Comments

Hi out there, digital world! My name is Susie and I am about to embark on an epic journey to Thailand to teach English for a year! I decided to start a blog to keep in touch with family, friends, and any interested humans. I have learned so much from reading other people’s blogs who have gone on similar journeys! I am 23 and I just graduated from WVU with my M.A. in Secondary Education & B.A. in English! I had an incredible time at WVU, joined Delta Gamma where I made some of the best friends a girl could ask for, got an enlightening and challenging education and met the best guy imaginable. It’s impossible to sum it all up here & now, but I am sure I will reminisce frequently. I came to WVU five years ago from my hometown of Syracuse, NY without knowing a soul, I felt simply drawn by the universe. It was the best decision I ever made.

I felt drawn by the universe to take this step and teach in Thailand for a year through the CIEE. Once I make up my mind, there is no stopping me. I recently got my official placement and found out I will teaching at Sanguan Ying School in Amphur Muang, Suphanburi, Thailand! I am so excited because my friend Jackie was placed at the same school & apartment building as me! Despite my extremely adventurous and independent side, it is so nice to have a friend to take on this adventure with for moral support, english speaking and a basically a travel partner in crime. You can expect to hear a lot about our adventures together!

Writing is one of my passions along with traveling, exercising, eating, laughing and learning. I love to learn everything I can about people, their pasts and especially their dreams for the future, places, history, culture, cooking, etc. My love for learning transfers to my love for teaching, especially teaching others to LOVE learning! Teaching comes natural to me(maybe the fact that my parents are both retired teachers) and it fulfills me in a way that nothing else can. I hope to inspire others to follow their passions and dreams and to explore, absorb and cherish the world around them. Whether you are moving 14,000 miles away or you are galavanting around the town you grew up in, EVERY day can be an adventure!:)

I am 44 days away from departure for Thailand and I am enjoying every second left in the United States with my boyfriend, friends and family (well, shortly once I am back in New York). When you realize you will be separated from the ones you love the most, it makes you appreciate them that much more. Please feel free to be a part of my journey; I will try to keep up with my blog as best as I can, being a first-timer and all. Tune in regularly or stumble upon my blog every once in while, whatever suits your desire! I promise to add tons of pictures once my trip takes off! Like literature,memoirs, good phone conversations, or late night heart to hearts over glasses of wine; blogs give you the chance to remove yourself from your current reality and take a glimpse at someone else’s. I hope you like what you see 😉

Ensusiasm

Helping you adventure through health with enthusiasm

Tag: teaching