When I started my blog I started with the intentions of sharing my journey in Thailand with my friends and family. I knew it would be hard to communicate and share all the details of life with everyone I cared for half way across the world. Technology is an incredible tool that like most things in life can be abused or can be used to enhance the lives of others. Once I began to share my stories, experiences, thoughts and feelings, I realized how powerful it is to share your life with others. Sometimes people share too much and are too concerned with what others think about their life. For me, I focused on all of the positive feedback I was receiving and how my story and my words were making a difference in the life of others. Once I started getting into my own blog, I spent a lot of time reading other’s work too. I began following many personal travel blogs, lifestyle blogs, poets, DIY experts, foodies…you name it. I have a vast range of interests and I respect and admire an assortment of expressions of life. I truly am awed and fascinated by people and what makes them tick. Blogging is an incredible way to jump into the driver’s seat of someone else’s life for 5-10 minutes and take a moment to immerse yourself in their reality. If you immerse yourself in someone else’s reality, you feel more connected to your own and more cognizant that the dreams you have and the struggles you face are not the only thing that matter.

While I was living in Thailand I went through many personal life changes. I got to know myself in a way that I didn’t even know was necessary. I suffered a life changing heartbreak that for the most part I lived through privately. I was given many “gifts”, as I fondly call them, of articles written about heartbreak, suffering loss, and finding yourself; but at that time I wasn’t ready or willing to air any “dirty laundry” through my own words. When you are going through something so personal, it helps to share but there is a very thin line between expressing yourself and being distasteful. I was raised in a manner to know that if I didn’t have anything nice to say I shouldn’t say at all. But I wrote every day for myself. I used my words to integrate all of the emotion I was experiencing into concrete expressions. I learned that as a person I not only like writing, I need it. I still was keeping up and writing my blog. I was being honest about my struggles but not in an overly explicit manner. I wasn’t able to comprehend my thoughts or understand how I would move forward in life so I chose to take that part of the journey privately.

Today, I am here to share what I have learned not because I need to but because I want to be that “gift” for someone else. Once you are on the advice giving side again and not the advice seeker, you tend to come full circle with situations. This article is about my heartbreak, but it is not about you. It is about me. If you are going to piss off a woman you shouldn’t piss off a woman who can write. Just ask any of Taylor Swift’s ex boyfriends. If you have the balls to do it, you should have the balls to read about it. And not just read about it, but read an eloquently constructed piece that evokes genuine emotion and empathy and possibly scorn from anyone who reads it. But again this piece isn’t about you…it’s about me. I actually wrote this blog post months ago, first with notes in my notepad on my phone, and then on my computer. To my surprise, I have never had one entry lost or deleted. I write everything on a word document and then post it as a draft on WordPress and then publish it. For some reason, when I went back to look for this entry, it was nowhere to be found. I think it was a sign that my thoughts had not come full circle and I wasn’t ready to synthesize my experiences into a meaningful, but honest piece. Today I am more than ready.

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