The Grass is Always Greener…

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The past month or so has been very eventful!(I PROMISE I WILL KEEP UP BETTER SOON!) After 2 weeks of summer school we got off an unexpected extra week. Fortunately for me, I already requested the time off because my boyfriend planned a visit from America! That meant I still got the time off and I got back 5 extra vacation days to use in the upcoming semester! The odds started out in my favor! After over six months apart, the anticipation of seeing my boyfriend at the airport was unexplainable. Luckily he was wearing a huge flying WV shirt so I could pick him out of the crowd (not to mention he was a 6’3 white boy in an predominately Asian airport). After traveling for over 2 days he was surprisingly energetic and now I could share the fact that we still had a full day of traveling ahead of us to the reach the southern island of Koh Tao. After a hot and sweaty journey by plane, bus, ferry, and overpriced taxi, we arrived at our secluded resort on the private Tanote Beach. It was about a 15-minute cab ride from the pier, but the ride was well worth the seclusion and beautiful atmosphere. The next few days were spent talking, laughing, snorkeling, eating, drinking, and frolicking in the ocean. We went on a one-day snorkel tour to Shark Bay, Mango Bay and ended the trip at Koh Nang Yuan Island. Although it felt hotter than the Sahara Desert, we still climbed up all the steps to the viewpoint. The view was well worth the sweat! It was absolutely breathtaking. We ended up meeting up with two of our friends from home that happened to be on the same island. It was awesome to hang out with fellow Mountaineers! The boys spent the day deep-sea fishing, caught a bunch of fish and the hotel’s staff served us up an amazing dinner overlooking the ocean; stir-fry with the fresh fish, veggies, rice and wine. It was probably my favorite meal of the trip! If you visit Koh Tao make sure you stop by Fishbowl Bar and the burger stand that is right outside of the bar Chopper’s (Sairee Beach). Both were favorites that we visited multiple times in six days! Koh Tao definitely lived up to the hype, but I have a feeling it may have to do with who and not where I was.

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The Best Ships…

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Today, I am biding farewell to another one of my closest friends who I met at our teaching orientation and preceded to grow into a tight knit friendship with. On our last day of orientation our coordinators from our new school came to pick us up. There were over 200 people spread across two hotels at our CIEE Teach in Thailand orientation. I had the pleasure of meeting tons of awesome friends which I have stayed in contact with via social media and our various meet ups on weekends and holidays. When our van arrived to bring us to Suphanburi, Jackie and I were nervous, excited, and anxious to get to our town. We knew there were other girls placed at our school and apartment building but we hadn’t really gotten to know them at orientation. The two hour van ride from Kanchanaburi to our new home was the perfect, awkward time to get to know each other. The conversation didn’t feel forced but we had to go through the obligatory initial questions, “Where are you from?”, “Where did you go to school?”, “What was your major?”, etc. All of us were eager and excited for this new chapter of our lives to begin! Erin and Kelsey were best friends from childhood and grew up together in South Carolina, Maggie and Kelsey were random college roommates at FSU and ended up becoming best friends, Jackie and I obviously went to WVU together and were each others life line getting through our graduate school program. We all had our own “security” best friend, which made getting to know each other as a group an interesting, but fun adventure.

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March Madness Final Round: America takes Thailand

It was such an awesome feeling returning “home” to Thailand. I really shouldn’t put that in quotes… this has been my home for the past 6 months and a wonderful one at that. It felt so great to be able to speak Thai again (no matter how little I actually speak), use baht, and feel comfortable with my surroundings. Not only was I home in Thailand but 3 short days later five of my closest friends from college were coming to visit me from America! Although I could not contain my excitement I also felt like my body just had been hit by an 18-wheeler. Over a month of backpacking will do that to ya. Luckily, I had two days to go back home to my quiet town of Suphanburi to unpack, do laundry, sleep, exercise and repack just to head right back out the door. Those two detox days were crucial to my survival for the rest of the trip. Not only did I have over two weeks left, I also had to play tour guide for 5 people who had never been to Thailand before! I needed to be on my game!

Waiting for them at the airport was one of the most nerve-racking, exciting sensations I have had in a while, and with all of my experiences lately, that is saying a lot. I knew their flight was delayed but when I got to the airport I had no way of contacting them. The flight board wasn’t updated yet when I got there and was on the opposite side as the arrival gate. Even when they landed their phones wouldn’t work internationally, so I just had to good old fashion wait. I made a little paper sign with an inside joke from college, “Wake up it’s Thailand time to pawty!”.

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March Madness Second Round: Cambodia

I am not sure what I expected when I heard the word Cambodia, but I can honestly say I was shocked when I got there. The first thing I noticed while driving on the bus from Vietnam to the small beach town Sihinoukville, Cambodia, was how dirty the country was. There was literally garbage everywhere. I was trying to keep an open mind, but after 17 hours on a bus, (actually multiple buses with transfers and long waits at shady bus stops) I wasn’t feeling too confident. The surroundings looked very barren and poor. Eventually we got to the last stop on the bus on a random road and got out to grab our backpacks and make our way to the guest house. Literally, we got harassed by 17 tuk-tuk drivers trying desperately to get our business. The tuktuk drivers in Cambodia were so aggressive it shocked me! Finally, we negotiated a fair price with one of the drivers and piled our five battered bodies and 5 giant backpacks into one small tuk-tuk.

We were driving along the road and all of a sudden civilization appeared. There were bars and restaurants, supermarkets, tons of people walking up and down the streets, and of course dozens of tuk-tuk drivers. We checked into Sekal Guesthouse, which has a great location and clean rooms for a decent price (if you looking for a place to stay in Sihanoukville). We dropped off our backpacks, showered and ventured out to find some food. We stumbled upon a place called Mum’s Kitchen; which was a real hole in the wall place right across the street from our guesthouse. The food was incredible. At least one of us ate there, at least once a day for the entire week we stayed. Once we were full, we heard music and decided to wander into the bar next door called Utopia. Chaos ensued from there and we discovered that Sihanoukville may be a small town, but they sure know how to have fun. We spent all night dancing the night away running from beach bar to beach bar on the infamous Serendipity Beach.

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Thank you Teechaaaa

Preface: I wrote this as a draft before I left for my incredible two month backpacking journey that was my summer break from teaching in Thailand. Due to packing, ADHD, and pure adrenaline I never actually finished or posted it but I want to include it on my blog even if it is retroactively because it accurately depicts my feelings in the moments leading up to yet another life changing adventure in South East Asia. And as promised I will be back and better than ever at keeping up with my blog in the coming months 🙂

After a semester of teaching in Thailand I have learned more than I learned in all four years of undergraduate and graduate school. These lessons have been hilarious, frustrating, sad, eye-opening, jaw dropping, infuriating and exciting. As a whole, I am embarking on my summer break feeling awesome about the community I am a part of, proud of myself and my students and eager to get back for next semester. Yes, that’s right American teacher friends… I am eager for school to start again. I wake up every morning and I feel happy and excited to go to work. It is one of the best feelings in the world. I will never be able to settle for a job that I do not love and I especially will never hold a job that I do not feel valued and appreciated. If you are reading this and you are interested in teaching abroad yourself , you are a teacher in America or you are simply curious about my experience teaching English as a foreign language (TEFL) here are some absolutes I have taken away from this experience that I will carry with me throughout my teaching career and my life.

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WARNING: THIS IS NOT A LIST

This piece does not have 10 steps, 5 reasons, 6 magic ways, or 4 crucial ingredients to define happiness, success, or how to win a lovers heart. I actually submitted it to Thought Catalog a few months ago but I presume it offended too many of the writers for it to be published. As an avid reader of Thought Catalog, Buzzfeed, Elite Daily, etc., I admit that I enjoy and often share links for these listed advice or reflection articles. This is in no manner intended to insult or diminish the work of the wonderful authors who write pieces like this. I even begrudgingly  snuck in a list on my last blog post (in a different context listing the places I visited on a long trip). But frankly, I actively search for articles that don’t include this extremely popular fad format of writing.

Part of the beauty of literature, reading, writing, and of course thinking is interpreting a text in your own fashion and pace. These listed pieces have given our generation and digital society yet another reason to rush through life and through thinking. Thinking takes time. I may have already lost some of you because you see a computer screen filled with paragraphs and not a neat and tidy list. Stick with me. Although many of these articles are beautifully written and have heartfelt messages, I am immediately turned off when I scroll through this newly cliché presentation.

Life is not that simple! As a society we are trying to simplify life in every single aspect. But along the way, we are losing the ability to process pain, complexities and true struggle. We are loosing the ability to discover the right answers because we immediately search for the definitive answers according to someone else. We are loosing the ability to communicate at all. I am currently teaching EFL in Thailand. In the few months I have been here, I have already started to change and morph as an individual. I have realized how heartbreakingly superficial American society is and how reliant we are on the ease of technology to “guide us through” life.

I love advice. I love giving advice and I love accepting advice from others. I love learning about people’s tribulations, what makes them tick, and struggles that made them come undone. I love talking. I love writing. I love positivity. I believe that we think our way into the life we have. Most of all, I believe in people and the overwhelming power of human connections. Human beings are inspiring, frustrating, delicate, and vulnerable.  Writing is an ancient tool to communicate and connect to others. It is one that we have relied on to learn about human nature, emotions, feelings and everlasting truths. Self- expression is celebrated in today’s society and I applaud us for that. But many people incessantly take on the role of “reader” or “viewer” or “audience”; when will it be your turn to talk, write, sing, dance, cry or think. When will you define your world?

I am not asking you to stop reading popular sites like Thought Catalog, Buzzfeed, or Elite Daily, following blogs and using social media. I will happily continue to read them myself. I am not telling you it isn’t okay to seek comfort in the words or the artistic expressions of others. I use them for comfort all the time. I am asking you to use them as a mode to enhance your mind, life, and relationships instead of a manner to define them.

All the advice in the world cannot replace real life experience. All the motivational lists on the Internet won’t alter your life’s philosophy, because you undoubtedly scroll through the list, read the bolded titles, linger on a few that catch your eye and pretend to have some sort of soul changing epiphany. Then, you go back to creeping on other people’s Facebook or Twitter, online shopping, checking your fantasy football stats, or aimlessly wasting time at work. Thinking is an intricate process that shouldn’t be a part of a routine.

It may be harsh, but it’s true. Why don’t you pick up a piece of literature by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Shakespeare, Thoreau, or Whitman?  Why don’t you meander through WordPress or Blogspot looking for a lonely post that is incredibly well written, but not shared on 500 of your friends Facebook walls? Why don’t you dive into those texts and cling to your own meaning of life and understanding the world around you? Why don’t you call your best friend, meet your grandma for coffee, write a hand written love letter, or go for a hike (maybe even alone)? Why don’t you create something yourself? Why don’t you live the precious life that is anxiously awaiting you? Not only will you understand those lists better, but you will also learn to live by your own distinctive beating heart, soul, and mind not someone else’s preconceived notions of the keys to your happiness.

I urge you, my friends, fellow bloggers, readers, Buzzfeeders, and Thought Catalogers: don’t just be nuances of our universe. Find your voice. Find your happiness. I guarantee it isn’t presented to you in a neat and tidy list. Embrace your life, enhance your life, but never settle to define your life or your choices based on someone else’s reality. Shamelessly slipping into hypocrisy I have a list for you. Here is the key to happiness. 1.  Define yourself. 

My Thai Thankstory

I wanted to begin this post “ The root of travel and adventure is…” and then I typed about 50 different phrases and furiously deleted them. I am a very fluid style writer and I often do not change one thing until I reach the end. I couldn’t pin point the root or the heart of travel or adventure while simultaneously representing my infatuation with it. I ask you my fellow writers, readers, friends, family… what is the root of travel and adventure for you? Why do vastly different people love to travel so much? How do we seek new horizons but still value and nurture the people who helped us create our past?  

If you asked me today, about adventure  I would immediately think of my latest adventure to the tropical island of Ko Samet in the Gulf of Thailand. I would immediately feel thankful for adventure. My students went to “Scout Camp” last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so I didn’t have any classes to teach. Our boss told us we still needed to report to school normally and use those days to plan. Mid-day Wednesday, he told us that we might get a holiday on Friday and possibly even Thursday after a brief staff meeting. Only in Thailand would a holiday from school be so nonchalant. In this instance, I was not complaining.

Next thing I know its Friday afternoon and I am on a bus to Ban Pae, a coastal town about 3 hours east of Bangkok. We booked a hostel there and would take the ferry to Ko Samet in the morning! Wait…what? I shit you not, this is how randomly this adventure came about. It was the best surprise ever. The second we left the dock and the ocean was all around me I began to consciously remind myself how lucky I was to be there. When you consciously remind yourself to be thankful proactively instead of retroactively it heightens your experience 10 fold. The weekend was full of sandy beaches, coconuts, whiskey, beer, snorkeling, boat rides, swimming in the ocean, hookah, wasabi pea eating contests, and relaxing on the beach. I was finishing up my latest read The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. I love reading on the beach but finishing this emotional account of fictitious Vietnam stories made me feel guilty for how good I felt…young, free, and careless on the beach.  But O’Brien’s words resonated with me,

“Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can’t remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.” 

I should not feel guilty for enjoying myself. I am honoring the stories from the past and making them a part of my present and future.  I am writing stories of my own so that I can be a part of the future. That gives me an overwhelming sense of power and a duty to represent my generation, my family and myself in a positive and genuine manner. Hopefully this blog is my first step in doing just that!

We couldn’t have asked for more perfect weather all day Friday and all day Saturday on the island. But Sunday morning we woke up feeling fragile and facing a 40 minute monsoon…right at check out.  No umbrellas, a few injuries from the weekend shenanigans made traveling 8 hours home seem like a punishment for how amazing our trip was.  But nothing could take away the afterglow of island bliss. Thailand is simply amazing and Ko Samet reminded me how lucky I am to be a part of it. 

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This week at school has flown by and I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching my students about Thanksgiving. Jackie and I had them create hand turkeys and write five things they are thankful for. Of course we had to first teach them what turkeys were, Thanksgiving, and what thankful meant. Almost every single student wrote they were thankful for their teachers. The best part is that I actually believe them. One child’s hand turkey stands out to me, it was very typical at first but the last one through me for a loop, “my bed”. So simple, yet so heartbreaking, especially because I walk by shacks, apartments, store fronts every single day and see little children sleeping on the ground on paper-thin mats or wooden benches. I often create stories for them in my head, and carry them along with me as a travel. All apart of the things we carry. When you have very little, you are reminded what is truly important. You are reminded the abundance of people, luxuries, and experiences each and every one of us have to be thankful for. 

 Today is Thanksgiving Day in Thailand, I am at school and it feels like any typical day. My American friends and I made makeshift turkey treats to pass out to our office. We will watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with our ninth graders and will be teaching our 7th graders the “Five Little Turkeys” song. We decided to have our own “Thanksgiving Dinner” tonight at one of our favorite local restaurants. We invited all of the American teachers that live in our apartment complex so it will make 12 of us. We will all bring wine and definitely will eat well (although we won’t have turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy or anything remotely close). I already informed the crew that we must go around and say what we are thankful for (Momma Sus comes out where ever I am). I set up Skype dates with my family at their Thanksgiving celebration and also my boyfriend’s family. Not only is it Thanksgiving but it is also my boyfriends birthday today (November 28). I want more than anything to squeeze him and take him out for celebrations but I have a surprise planned I hope he loves. I would do anything to make him feel how special he is to me and how thankful I am he is mine. 

Being so far away at a time that is all about family, friends and togetherness is in no way easy but it truly is teaching me what the holiday is about. When I try to explain Thanksgiving to my students or my coworkers from Australia, Thailand and China I picture my Aunt Shelly’s house and everyone running around the kitchen drinking homemade beer and wine, laughing, dancing, and Aunt Shirl cooking up a storm. I hear my Noni’s Norwegian prayer swaying softly in my ears(even if we botch up the words). I can’t even think about how damn good the food tastes or I will slobber on my keyboard.  

But most of all I tell them, it is a day to truly celebrate and appreciate everything you have, no matter if it is 10 feet in front of you, across a few continents or no longer in the physical world. My friends and family at home, I encourage you to be extra thankful this year for being able to celebrate with people you love… Don’t take for granted those precious moments with your siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, lovers and friends. Those moments are what Thanksgiving is about. Those moments are what life is about. Don’t let the hangover from TGE or the football distract from the essence of the celebration. Today (and everyday) I feel gratitude, I feel nostalgia, I feel love and I feel thankful.

I could travel the whole world 10 times over, but nothing can replace the bonds of love, support, laughter, and the feeling of home that the people I care about the most embody. For now I will take O’Brien’s advice, cling to the stories to link my heart and mind to the past and the future and I will take my own advice for the present and be thankful proactively instead of retroactively. It’s a good day to be an American, a Mountaineer, a Bell, a Donovan, a girlfriend, a friend, a traveler and a teacher, wherever you may be. Happy Birthday to “That Guy” I love the most & Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful you are a part of my story.