How to not give up this time.. even if you already did

Do you feel frustrated with yourself? Maybe you already broke your “resolution” for the new year or you “gave in” to Netflix and wine instead of what you thought you should be doing. Maybe you didn’t write down any goals but you still feel “the same” and you can’t figure out why? Or did you go in full force and now you feel like you failed because you’ve already skipped the gym for a couple days? Did you succumb to the persuasive power of Ben and Jerry again? Now is the time most people are quitting when the shiny glow of the new year starts to fade. How do you make yourself part of the group that didn’t give up this time…even if you already did?

STOP RIGHT THERE! Take a deep breath.

The new year is an awesome time to start chasing after new goals but the amazing part is, we get a clean slate everyday. You have the power to rewrite your story, every single day. The question is will you let yourself? Are you hiding behind fear? Let’s get to the bottom of this so you can figure out how not to give up this time.

Celebrate progress– Progress comes in many forms- small and large. Saying no to cookies in the staff room or choosing to take a deep breath instead of lose it on your partner- that’s progress. Even if it’s one time! Find something that you feel like was a success everyday and start building on that.

Acknowledge your power- When we give up on our goals we try to place blame on everything around us. I’m too busy, I’m just not good at eating healthy, I have no willpower. How many times can you feed yourself excuses before you begin to acknowledge that that is exactly what they are. Lying is awful and when you lie to yourself, you’re wasting everyone’s time and energy especially your own. YOU HAVE THE POWER. You always have. Act like it.

Try new things– If the same gym membership and Lean Cuisine diet isn’t doing it for you and it hasn’t for the past five years, why do you keep thinking this time will be different? If you want different results DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Don’t just say, “Yeah, that would be nice.” “Someday.” DO it now, for goodness sake. If you hate it, then at least you tried!

Non-food rewards– You are not a dog. You do a trick, you get a treat? Come on. Even if you LOVE food (trust me- so do I) try rewarding yourself with things other than food. Manicures, facials, massages, a bubble bath, new workout gear, or a Groupon for a fun and active date night.  Branch out. Stop saying okay, I ran 3 miles now I shall eat my body weight in pizza. You are not a pet, don’t treat yourself like one.

Allow yourself to quit– What? This sounds silly. No, it’s not. If you sign up for Crossfit and you end up HATING Crossfit, do yourself a favor and find something you do like. Human beings were born to MOVE, so I promise you there is something that will feel good for your body. Don’t see exercise as a punishment but as a gift and blessing.

Find your tribe– MAN. I don’t know how many times I can say this. Find people who motivate you. Find people who don’t sit around on the couch every night. Find people who want to plan the trip, take the class, run the race, start the business. Fire breeds fire. Find people who make you HOT!

Ask for help– You don’t have to do ANYTHING alone. If you are struggling with mental health issues, see a doctor. If you are struggling with your relationship- ask a friend or someone you trust for advice. If you can’t get your diet and exercise under control SEEK HELP! There are experts in every area of your life you want to improve and you’re probably already friends with them. It doesn’t have to be paid advice or programs, just seek out what you need and be open minded!
Be flexible– You should NEVER be so set in your ways that you hinder yourself from finding and creating the life of your dreams. This goes along with trying new things, allowing yourself to quit and asking for help. Be flexible. ALLOW yourself to grow. Don’t feel like you MUST do what you have always done. It’s so incredibly sexy and fulfilling to better yourself. HOP ON BOARD.

Continual Forgiveness– Alright, you messed up? Welcome to the club. Seriously, it will never be an uphill progression. It’s a roller coaster. Be kind to yourself. I don’t like to say be “easy” on yourself because that leaves  a lot of room for excuses. Be kind but firm. Alright, beauty you messed up- let’s do better tomorrow. YOU GOT THIS.

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How to make 2017 your best year yet

It’s been a week long series of the 2016 collection. I hope this week brought you some insight, inspiration and friendly reminders to find what makes you happy, treat your body right and never stop exploring the world around you.

As we kick off 2017 one of my goals is to take my blog to the next level. I’ve had this blog for 3 years now. It started as a minor project, a simple way to keep in touch with friends and family when I moved to Thailand. I had no idea what the course of these next 3 years would be;  how deeply I would fall in love with traveling and sharing my storying, and that I would ultimately move from Thailand to New York and down under to Australia. In the past 3 years I have had my heartbroken and found myself in the aftermath, started my own business, taught 3 different aged students in 3 different countries, fallen in love, met hundreds of new and inspiring souls, went skydiving(twice) , conquered my fear by scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef, traveled to five countries, backpacked all around South East Asia and Australia, been published on one of my favorite websites, grew my passion for exercise, yoga, writing and helping people, welcomed my nephew into the world, fallen in love with myself again and again and most importantly felt more alive than I ever have in my life.

 

In 2017, I want to shift my focus a bit, I still plan to keep you up to date with my journey and sharing my story but I want to help you to write your own. Maybe that’s in the traditional sense of starting a gratitude journal or your own blog or maybe that’s just getting in touch with where you’ve been, where you are, and where you are going. My focus this year is helping YOU grow. I’ve started my first newsletter to give a monthly bonus to subscribers plus special freebies, offers, advice, etc. Make sure you subscribe to stay up to date! I will reserve special content for the newsletter but it will always fit in with the theme of the blog posts happening that month!

So, in honor of January and goal setting- let’s get your year off on the right track.  Resolutions have a negative connotation because so many people set them and forget them or people say things they think they should change but don’t really feel invested in. I am not sure if you are familiar with the term “S.M.A.R.T goals” but I would love to give the quick and dirty refresh.

Goals need to be S.M.A.R.T for them to work

S- Specific (what exactly will you do)

M- Measurable (how will you know you have reached the goal)

A- Achievable (something that can be done)

R- Realistic (Is this too big? Can I really do it?)

T- Timely (when will I do this by)

So instead of saying “I need to get in shape” try making a SMART Soul Solution- “I will improve my health by exercising four times per week every week. I will measure my success by the amount of inches I lose and how my clothes fit. I will  mark on the calendar when I workout and check in with myself every month and make sure I’m sticking to my goal.”

 

YOU CAN CHANGE! We all have the ability to change. It’s about being aggressive and persistent in changing our habits. I also love the idea of having ONE goal in all the major areas of your life. Don’t try to change it all at once. Don’t discredit that every day is a tiny step in the right direction. One day doesn’t make or break you but one day plus one day plus one day turns into weeks and months of change. Little by little, bit by bit, you will look back and see how far you have come.

 

No matter what your goals are I have some serious and realistic tips for sticking to them.

 

 

  • TALK THEM OUT. Make sure they measure up to the S.M.A.R.T.
  • WRITE THEM DOWN.  Writing things down is powerful in so many ways.
  • HANG THEM UP. You have to look at them frequently. Above your desk, on your mirror, on your fridge!
  • SCHEDULE THEM IN. Make a plan. It’s hard enough to change habits, without a specific plan it’s hopeless.
  • STAY FOCUSED. If you want it, block out anything that stands in your way FOCUS is powerful.
  • HAVE FUN. Goal setting can be intimidating but shit, girlfriend- working on you should be fun. Have a sense of humor about it and remember trying and failing is better than staying stuck.

 

 

I’ll leave you with an awesome quote from one of the best books I’ve ever read The Magic of Thinking Big by David Joseph Schwartz:

 

“You are what you think you are. Think more of yourself and there is more of you.”

 

Your mind is your most powerful muscle. Cheers to a fabulous new year, but not a new you. We can improve things about you, but remember I like you just the way you are. You should too! There are endless possibilities when you look out into the future, focus those gorgeous eyes on a few and let’s do this thing. 

 

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The 2016 Collection: Happiness 

Happiness 

“Between all these goals, plans and dreams for the future I refuse to forget the invaluable moments that are happening right now.”

“Sometimes you just wanna set the cruise control button. But no one ever won a race on cruise control.”

“Ask yourself what matters MOST to you and if you give that the MOST attention, not just in theory but in practice.”

“Nature reminds me to be a human being not a human doing.”

“It doesn’t matter how happy you are, what job you have , how much money you have in the bank- we all get overwhelmed by the stress and curveballs that life throws our way. Just because I consider myself to be a positive person, does not mean that I am immune from these feelings or situations. What it does mean is that I know how to fix these feelings… quickly.”

“If you love yourself fiercely and unconditionally you will treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you would treat anybody else. Focus on how you respond to what is happening in your life NOW instead of what could go wrong in the future. The future will NEVER be exactly how we imagine it. How boring would that be?”

“Too many people remain silent because they are afraid to seem weak, negative or crazy but truthfully staying silent is what makes you feel trapped in the negativity.”

“Don’t be afraid of depth. Don’t be shy about what you feel. Don’t be shy about not knowing what your passion is. Go with what feels right and constantly seek more of it. Don’t accept the status quo of being half alive, half involved, half motivated or half jaded. The most important thing I have found is to feel heavy, feel fully, feel deeply and find others who feel like you do.”

“Regardless of what uncontrollables are happening in your life, even things that affect almost everything about your future, you still have a responsibility to yourself to find peace, control what you can control, and just keep swimming.”

The 2016 Collection: Travel

Travel

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“My biggest takeaway from all of my adventures living abroad in two radically different countries and returning back home to America in between, has been that the world is an absolutely captivating and magical place, if you allow it to be. Being open minded is the key to happiness, success, relationships and quite honestly, life.  I truly believe that for the most part people are their own worst enemies and let their fears hold them back from the life they deserve.”

“Traveling has forced me to be okay with not being in control(which if you know me was a VERY hard lesson for me to learn.) Traveling has forced me to see how taking risks is worth the reward. Traveling has forced me to savor the moments as they pass because you may only have a few nights with these new friends who you feel like you’ve known a lifetime. Traveling has made me realize that you don’t need a lot of money to travel you need a lot of GUTS. You need a lot of resilience. You need the willingness to get out of your OWN way and take some risks.”

“You have to be open minded in your approach to your traveling or you could circle the whole globe and not change a thing.”

“You are someone who decides that the desire to see the world is stronger than any other guiding factor.”

“Every traveler holds those stories in their memory, some to share and some to keep, but no two people will see the same world twice.”

“You can see a big and beautiful world or you can see a world full of pain and darkness. That is totally up to you.”

“Good and evil have existed since the beginning of time and will continue to exist. Traveling has reminded me to be open to the magic that this universe has to offer. Not just when you feel like it. Not just for a week or a stage in life. Be open to what the world has to offer you and see the magic in everyday life. Don’t ever stop seeing life as an adventure and that mindset will manifest your reality.  Leaving home does not mean that I never look back, I look back all the time. But my eyes have changed, my mind has expanded, my heart has opened.  I take life as it comes and I take people for what they are. I control myself (this is without a pitcher of sangria in my blood) because I know that’s the only thing I can control. I EMBRACE uncertainty because instead of holding myself back or being afraid of it, I am learning to celebrate the fact that I have no clue what’s next. None of us do. The more authentically you open your mind and your heart to the world around you the more the world around you opens. Allow the world to be the magical and captivating place that it is. Get out of your own way. I’m not saying everyone should quit their job to travel the world but DAMN, I am glad that I did.”

“The travel bug isn’t a creature you want to take lightly.”

“Traveling pushes me to my limits and pushed me out of my comfort zone to allow me the room to blossom into who I want to be. Or at least put me on the road to who I want to be. Traveling gave me the reason to start sharing my writing and the confidence to believe I had something to say.”

“When I lived in Syracuse last year for a short time, I might have taken for granted a nice dinner with Mom, an afternoon with my niece and nephew or getting ready with one of my best friends, but now, these moments feel like memories as they are happening. I cherish them with the sense of fragility and preciousness they deserve. Because I can’t see everyone I love as often as I want, I am able to invest fully in those moments and give my full self.”

“Wherever you are, and however you celebrate, remember to make this holiday season about love, celebration and admiration for life and the many blessings you have been given. It’s not wrong to miss what you’ve left behind, but don’t let it stop you from experiencing what is right in front of you.”

 

“Home will always be home for me. But the greatest feat of all, is feeling at home within yourself. I can be alone on the other side of the world but I am confident enough in who I am and where I’m going to feel at home.”

The 2016 Collection: Health

Health

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“It is not selfish to work on yourself first, it is compulsory. You do not need to be perfect to help other people, I am so far from perfect it’s not even funny. You need to be willing to be both earnest and light hearted about this whole self-improvement business and speak from a place of genuine concern for others.”

“Only you understand your own mind and body and so often we listen to what society thinks, our boss thinks, or what our inner circles think that we stop thinking at all.”

“How can I connect to you if I didn’t have 50  or even 10 pounds to lose? Because I have had hundreds of pounds of internal struggles that I have had to work SO HARD to shed. Those “pounds” affected my world and my mental health just as much as physical pounds. And because I am a compassionate human being, that my friends, has no dress size.”

“ ‘Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.’ Let the light shine on you so you can let your light shine. Self love is not arrogance or cockiness. It is so far from that. Self love is treating YOU how you would your  best friend or your lover. Give yourself those positive affirmations and encouragement. Give yourself a break. Look at yourself in the mirror and don’t criticize everything you see, embrace it, compliment it and accept that you are SO MUCH MORE than that vessel. My strength and my self love have so much to do with what I have done with and to my mind. The more we love ourselves, the more we allow others to do the same. When I look in the mirror today I am proud of who I am. Not just the girl I see but the girl I hear in my head. Mind, body and soul. No matter who you are or what you’ve been through in the past, it’s up to you to start today and to love yourself ferociously. Stop living in your own shadow.”

“We need to be women who speak up. We need to be women who champion for others, not just other women, but anyone who is an underdog that will not champion for themselves. We need to be strong and fierce. We need to be vulnerable. We need to teach little girls that it’s not about who has the most Barbie dolls or the prettiest dresses but who shows kindness and compassion to others. We need to stop telling little girls how pretty they are and start asking them what books they are reading…We need to drink beer when we want to  and wine when we need to. We need to make other women feel powerful, beautiful and sexy no matter what they wear, what their body looks like or what happened in their past. We need to gain respect by simply living in a manner that demands respect. We need to stop comparing our lives to celebrities or our sorority sister’s instagram account. Her instagram account is not her life, it’s a projection of what she wants you to see of her life.”

“Mental illness is not something that can be detected by the way someone looks, the persona they present in public or the pictures you see of them. Mental illness does not discriminate. It is ruthless and isolating. It is destructive and consuming.”

“Being healthy is about so much more than what we eat, how often we exercise and how many pounds our physical body weighs; being healthy is a choice to treat yourself with the love and respect you would treat your very best friend or your grandma. Tender discipline.  Being healthy is looking in the mirror and liking what you see, not because you have muscles and toned arms but because you work hard on yourself day in and day out and you know no matter what life throws your way-you will always be your number one fan. Let me know when you find a scale that can measure that, and I’ll be the first to buy it. Step off the scale and step into freedom. Feel that weight off your shoulders? It’s infinitely more pleasant on the other side.”