Category: Thinking

Great Expectations

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I apologize for disappearing but I am here and ready to get you all back up to date with my crazy life. I am now back in America sitting in my bed at my parents’ house in Syracuse, NY shivering under 3 blankets. It is 28 degrees and snowing outside. In the past two months I have been in four countries, countless cities and have sucked more out of life than some people will for the entirety of their existence. I wrote this piece before I set out on my month long trip. To be honest, I had no intentions of including it in my blog, it was more for personal reflection, but it does an uncanny job at introducing the past two months of my life and a trip I will remember forever. I am going to try to condense the trip into three blog posts but we will see what it turns out to be. One of my quirks as a writer is that I go in completely blind as to what I want to say and simply let my thoughts guide me. But that is also what I attribute my authentic voice to… I have tried to fight it but ultimately it’s what works for me. Enjoy these expectations and stay tuned for the rest of the stories to come!

Expectations for The Finale Trip

Before I moved to Thailand I read a girl’s blog who lived and taught here and one of her biggest pieces of advice was “to not have any expectations of what your experience will be like because you will most definitely be wrong.” I took this sentiment to heart and shared it with Jackie and we adopted it as our motto jumping into the experience without expectations. My friend who started teaching here this semester shared with me an idea given to him by his aunt. She told him to write down his expectations and hopes for his experience before he left for Thailand so he could have them to look back at once he was finished. She wanted him to realize how different his expectations would be from his reality. Looking back on how much my life has changed in the past year and how “normal” life in Thailand feels today, I wish that I recorded my expectations. Not because they would be right but instead to see how WRONG they would be. I decided that it isn’t to late to use this technique both for my final backpacking trip and for my adjustment back into American culture and life. I won’t be disappointed if I am “wrong” because I know that the reality will be even better than what I can imagine. It is wonderful that my life seems to work out that way and I accredit it to using my knowledge of the law of attraction, a positive attitude and bringing kindness with me everywhere I go.

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Put Resilience on your Resume

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Today’s society promotes young people to be interdependent with others. The Internet is full of advice on any topic you can imagine from a vast range of sources including blogs, personal websites, specialists, and forums. It is up to the reader to decide what advice to heed and what advice to disregard. Hopefully, my advice motivates my readers to strive for this personality trait and skill in a fashion that is relevant and beneficial for their personal goals and aspirations. This skill is a way of living not a one step process or answer to reaching success. It will be a process to integrate it into your life and a challenge to maintain on your journey but I am positive it will be beneficial. I was asked to participate in Webucator’s “Most Marketable Skill” campaign by sharing my opinion on an essential skill necessary for success after graduation. There are inevitably dozens of skills that are crucial to success but I feel there is one that encompasses and affects all other skills. It may sound trite but I truly believe the one skill that all successful people have in common is resilience.

Resilience can be applied in a personal sense and a professional sense. The job market today can seem like a rat race, a vicious jungle, or a comical circus act. There are so many young people with college degrees, respectable internships, impressive extra curricular activities and laundry lists of achievements. How do you set yourself apart? Resilience. How do you display your resilience? You admit your weaknesses but articulate how you are working to make them better. You continue to tirelessly apply for job positions and interviews that you are passionate about, no matter how many times you are turned down. You accept criticism from mentors, future employers, current employers and co-workers; but instead of coming up with excuses, you come with proactive techniques to improve yourself, your work ethic or whatever has been called into question. You are proactive instead of reactive because you are not afraid to make mistakes.

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More Than A Something

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Try as I may, being published on Thought Catalog still eludes me. Sadly I fear it’s due to the anti-stereotypical format of my pieces. I can’t bring myself to succumb to the dreaded lists! I am sharing this on my own blog because I think my thoughts are worth sharing! Today is also my 1 year blogging anniversary (thanks for the notification WordPress). No better way to celebrate than a new post that means a lot to me! I went back and read my first post and I truly can’t believe how much I have changed over the course of this year. This experience is so different than my expectations and I have gained more than I could possibly put into words. I have met incredible friends that will be a part of my heart forever and made enough memories for a lifetime. I hope you have enjoyed reading about my journey as much as I have enjoyed writing about it. I can’t believe how fast time goes by! I only have two months left in The Land of Smiles! “The days are long but the years are short”. Read & heed my message, whether you are apart of Generation Y or simply young at heart. 🙂 Cheers! xx 

More Than A Something 

Thanks to the eccentric depiction of “twenty somethings” in today’s society; whether it be blogs splattered all over the internet, television series, films or simply trendy hashtags such as #postgradproblems, twenty something has been turned into an exceptionally stereotyped and dare I say dreaded age group. Most twenty something’s are graduating college, searching for our first “real jobs”, finding our purpose, hooking up, breaking up, making shit up and eventually getting married, buying homes, paying bills, having kids and slipping quickly into adulthood.

It seems like just yesterday we were getting ready for theme parties, eating at the dining hall, planning our outfits for the football tailgate or staying up all night in the library. I’m not sure if it’s just my friends, my acquaintances, or my alma mater (LET’S GO MOUNTAINEERS!) but transitioning from “the wonder years” of college and turning into a “real person” is a difficult transition (to put things lightly). Unfortunately, social media has turned into a barometer for insecure twenty something’s to stack up their life against their peers. Who has the coolest job? Who’s engaged? Who’s having a baby? The real question should be WHO CARES? Turn the focus on who you are and who you want to be. I promise you will feel much better about your life. Many of the articles about twenty somethings depict us as angst ridden, awkward human beings who lack the hutzpah to get out there and grab the bull by the horns. I beg to differ.

Personally, I would like to defend not only myself, but also the majority of my fellow twenty somethings. I am not saying we aren’t angsty sometimes. We are definitely broke and we undoubtedly miss the carefree lifestyle of being university students. We may be heartbroken, we may be confused but I can tell you one thing; we can thrive dwelling in the possibilities.

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If you don’t like the book, STOP READING IT

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Once again the anticipation leading up to my two weekends of traveling in July was validated and surpassed by the actual experiences. Amazing Thailand… always amazing. Our first weekend out of our town of Suphanburi in a few weeks was spent in Bangkok celebrating the Fourth of July! Nothing starts of Independence Day like being asked by your boss to sing the National Anthem in front of the whole school (about 2,500 Thai people). We asked for the day off to celebrate and our deal was that we had to sing the National Anthem in the welcoming ceremony for some visiting teachers from America first. Reluctantly we agreed because neither Jackie nor I have a good singing voice and it’s one of the hardest songs to sing for a GOOD singer. But, we already made plans to leave early and meet friends in Bangkok. We sucked it up and luckily recruited two more singers to join us so no ones talent stuck out too much.(Thanks Jared, even if you forgot the words) 😉

After being in Thailand for an extended period of time, when you are in Bangkok Khaosan Road is definitely not the first area that you are eager to visit. Since it was our American holiday weekend, we figured that Khaosan Road was the best place to run into travelers, backpackers and expats and hopefully find a way to celebrate despite being away from the Land of the Free! We did some research and found a great hotel right on Khaosan, D&D Inn with a rooftop pool, swim up bar and decent rooms. After our stellar rendition of the National Anthem we left school and hopped on the bus to Bangkok. We were in our red, white, and blue suits soaking up the sunshine and jumping in the pool by 1pm. Well worth the semi embarrassment.

As the day played out we began to meet new tons of new people. The pool was packed and we were surprised to meet a big crew of Americans. They understood our excitement! Things escalated quickly from there and despite the dirty looks we ran around that pool deck waving our American flag and made sure that every single person knew what July 4th meant to us! We even befriended a few Brits, Irishmen, and EVEN Canadians (LOL inside joke). The party continued that night on Khaosan Road, which is an experience like no other. For the rest of the weekend we continued to take over the rooftop pool, meet amazing people, shop, eat, dance, and especially laugh. We reunited with teacher friends that live in different areas and when we get together my cheeks literally start to hurt. Funny people make the world go round.

On Sunday we made the best discovery of the weekend, a little brunch/dinner spot a short tuk-tuk or even walk from Khoasan called Chomp. The food, coffee, sangria, milk shakes and desserts were heavenly. Yes, we tried them all…And, yes we not only ate brunch there, but also stayed late in Bangkok just so we could go to dinner there too. Nothing and I mean nothing pleases my friends and I more than a good meal, especially a good western style meal. Don’t get me wrong I ADORE Thai food, but in my town there are absolutely no options for other styles of food and sometimes you just need to satiate your craving for Italian, Mexican, Indian, French and ESPECIALLY SUNDAY BRUNCH. A twenty something girl has GOT to have a good Sunday Brunch spot, it’s basically a part of our genetic make up. After an action pack weekend in Bangkok school on Monday was extremely difficult but luckily my students’ smiling faces always make me feel good about where I am Monday morning. I really have the best of both worlds.

4th of July _0

 

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Share your Lollipops

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Inspiration is a perplexing concept. We draw inspiration from others and the world around us but ultimately inspiration is a highly personal experience. You can read the same book or watch the same film as your friend, lover, or mother and draw totally different inspiration from the same source. Some people are extremely difficult to inspire and others are inspired by minute daily beauty. As a writer, inspiration is something that is not only necessary but is truly like kryptonite. When I feel the words forming in my head, I can see the sentences budding like flowers in the springtime. When I feel the inspiration and the drive to condense my vast imagination into compartmentalized fuel…I must fulfill that need. Often I am inspired by other writers, reading their books and getting so lost in their created world I just can’t wait to create a world of my own. Often I am inspired by writers’ quotes or interviews about writing. I feed off their immense satisfaction with written words and begin to muse over what I can construct myself. As an educator, I am writing SOMETHING every single day. I have recently started a gratitude journal and it is remarkable way to write at least one (usually about 7 or 8) bullet points of little things I am grateful for that particular day. Here is a quick recap of what I have been extremely grateful for in the past few weeks.

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  • My health– Celebrating my 24th birthday on June 2nd was a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am to continue to grow older. Not to mention my IMMENSE infatuation with birthdays. I love making people feel special and birthdays are a great excuse to celebrate something (YOU). Seems like a common Gemini trait!;)  I also have made a commitment to myself to put my physical health- exercise and diet back at the top of my priority list. Endorphins are my drug of choice and they have been neglected a bit in my adjustment to my new world/ traveling the world. Sixty days of Insanity began this week and I am excited to challenge myself physically and mentally! I’m even dragging Jackie & Maggie along with me! 😉
  • My students- These little loves challenge me every single day and especially test my patience. But they are incredibly thoughtful, creative and kind. I got not one or two but FIVE birthday cakes on my birthday and countless presents. I was treated like a queen and it was totally unexpected but greatly appreciated. Once again Thailand surprised me with its ability to make me feel right at home on special days, holidays and random ordinary days.
  • Good food– You may laugh at this one. BUT IT’S TRUE! After a weekend in Bangkok with incredible western food including brunch at Roast BKK(Thonglor district, GO if you are visiting Bangkok), juicy burgers, gourmet salads, sushi, daily fresh pineapple sold on the street outside my apartment, you name it, I have been eating like a queen and nothing feeds my foodie soul quite like a GREAT meal with GREAT friends! J
  • Good shows– Current Obsessions: Games of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, Modern Family. Laughing, drinking wine, and covering my eyes & gasping (A LOT) with my gal pals is a favorite past time lately.
  • My innumerable “lollipop moments” (I’ll explain later) and all of the incredible people who are attached to them. I am definitely what you call a “people person” Besides food; people are probably my favorite thing about life. I try to be as proactive as possible as I can about thanking those people who have helped me throughout my life. I try to do this as often as possible. I can’t leave my thanks unspoken. Currently I am thinking of wonderful teachers who have helped me along my journey; my parents, Chapman, Mr. & Mrs. P, Barrett, Kiesha Kiebler, Stephanie Lorenze, John Stallings and many teachers I never formerly had in a classroom, my big brothers, Lisa & Dave Craig, Punkie& Dickie Lighton, Krista & Zach Mendelson and many more whose influence cannot be forgotten. My friends, the very old and new; you are my shining stars. I can’t think you enough for your love, laughter, guidance, empathy and companionship. Thanks for your lollipop moments; you have touched my heart and life in ways that will never be forgotten.

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The Best Ships…

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Today, I am biding farewell to another one of my closest friends who I met at our teaching orientation and preceded to grow into a tight knit friendship with. On our last day of orientation our coordinators from our new school came to pick us up. There were over 200 people spread across two hotels at our CIEE Teach in Thailand orientation. I had the pleasure of meeting tons of awesome friends which I have stayed in contact with via social media and our various meet ups on weekends and holidays. When our van arrived to bring us to Suphanburi, Jackie and I were nervous, excited, and anxious to get to our town. We knew there were other girls placed at our school and apartment building but we hadn’t really gotten to know them at orientation. The two hour van ride from Kanchanaburi to our new home was the perfect, awkward time to get to know each other. The conversation didn’t feel forced but we had to go through the obligatory initial questions, “Where are you from?”, “Where did you go to school?”, “What was your major?”, etc. All of us were eager and excited for this new chapter of our lives to begin! Erin and Kelsey were best friends from childhood and grew up together in South Carolina, Maggie and Kelsey were random college roommates at FSU and ended up becoming best friends, Jackie and I obviously went to WVU together and were each others life line getting through our graduate school program. We all had our own “security” best friend, which made getting to know each other as a group an interesting, but fun adventure.

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Maybe she’s born with it, Maybe it’s Matala Theme

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“Style isn’t just about what you wear, it’s about how you live.”- Lilly Pulitzer

Today I decided to give my blog a makeover! How do you like my new theme Matala? When I created my blog in early August I decided to stick with the Manifest theme. It was simple, clean cut and highlighted the main focus, the actual heart of the blog, my words. Since I have been getting more involved in the blogging world and exploring and following tons of other blogs, I realized how many options there are out there! You can definitely have the best of both worlds. Plus I think this theme reflects my personality more accurately!

 I have made it a personal goal for the next six months to learn more about blogging, design my blog to be more user friendly and increase my interactive presence in the Blogisphere! It is a great way to practice writing, reading, learning, teaching and reflecting. All things that my Gemini soul needs and craves on a daily basis! I also want to make an effort to post more often, which will prove to be difficult in the next few months with traveling so much. But I promise once May comes around you will see posts from me at least once a week, if not more! My blog continues to be a work in progress and I strive to continue to improve and add to it as I learn more and more. Fellow bloggers, how did you learn how to design your blog? Are there any helpful resources or did you do lots of exploring and messing with the site on your own? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Next week I embark on my journey all over Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. All that is left is judging a presentation competition at my school and then packing, planning, and fishing Season 3 of Game of Thrones (Right Jackie!?) I will leave you with a few quotes that have inspired me the past few days. As an avid reader and writer, I absolutely love quotes. I love turning to them for motivation, inspiration, empathy and everything in between. It is incredible how many quotes say relatively the same idea but the way they are written is what makes them unique and beautiful. Enjoy & get inspired! I will quote a tweet from myself, that I accessed via the Timehop app (which is a hilarious trip down social media memory lane if you haven’t used it before) which I tweeted two years ago this week,

“ Never settle in life even when you are happy, always push yourself to be better than you are right now!” -Anonymous 

“Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in ’cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”-Grey’s Anatomy

“I never fall apart because I never fall together”-Anonymous

“Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground”- Judith Thierman 

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.” -Ayn Rand

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

 

Cheers! xoxo 

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A LIST

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This piece does not have 10 steps, 5 reasons, 6 magic ways, or 4 crucial ingredients to define happiness, success, or how to win a lovers heart. I actually submitted it to Thought Catalog a few months ago but I presume it offended too many of the writers for it to be published. As an avid reader of Thought Catalog, Buzzfeed, Elite Daily, etc., I admit that I enjoy and often share links for these listed advice or reflection articles. This is in no manner intended to insult or diminish the work of the wonderful authors who write pieces like this. I even begrudgingly  snuck in a list on my last blog post (in a different context listing the places I visited on a long trip). But frankly, I actively search for articles that don’t include this extremely popular fad format of writing.

Part of the beauty of literature, reading, writing, and of course thinking is interpreting a text in your own fashion and pace. These listed pieces have given our generation and digital society yet another reason to rush through life and through thinking. Thinking takes time. I may have already lost some of you because you see a computer screen filled with paragraphs and not a neat and tidy list. Stick with me. Although many of these articles are beautifully written and have heartfelt messages, I am immediately turned off when I scroll through this newly cliché presentation.

Life is not that simple! As a society we are trying to simplify life in every single aspect. But along the way, we are losing the ability to process pain, complexities and true struggle. We are loosing the ability to discover the right answers because we immediately search for the definitive answers according to someone else. We are loosing the ability to communicate at all. I am currently teaching EFL in Thailand. In the few months I have been here, I have already started to change and morph as an individual. I have realized how heartbreakingly superficial American society is and how reliant we are on the ease of technology to “guide us through” life.

I love advice. I love giving advice and I love accepting advice from others. I love learning about people’s tribulations, what makes them tick, and struggles that made them come undone. I love talking. I love writing. I love positivity. I believe that we think our way into the life we have. Most of all, I believe in people and the overwhelming power of human connections. Human beings are inspiring, frustrating, delicate, and vulnerable.  Writing is an ancient tool to communicate and connect to others. It is one that we have relied on to learn about human nature, emotions, feelings and everlasting truths. Self- expression is celebrated in today’s society and I applaud us for that. But many people incessantly take on the role of “reader” or “viewer” or “audience”; when will it be your turn to talk, write, sing, dance, cry or think. When will you define your world?

I am not asking you to stop reading popular sites like Thought Catalog, Buzzfeed, or Elite Daily, following blogs and using social media. I will happily continue to read them myself. I am not telling you it isn’t okay to seek comfort in the words or the artistic expressions of others. I use them for comfort all the time. I am asking you to use them as a mode to enhance your mind, life, and relationships instead of a manner to define them.

All the advice in the world cannot replace real life experience. All the motivational lists on the Internet won’t alter your life’s philosophy, because you undoubtedly scroll through the list, read the bolded titles, linger on a few that catch your eye and pretend to have some sort of soul changing epiphany. Then, you go back to creeping on other people’s Facebook or Twitter, online shopping, checking your fantasy football stats, or aimlessly wasting time at work. Thinking is an intricate process that shouldn’t be a part of a routine.

It may be harsh, but it’s true. Why don’t you pick up a piece of literature by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Shakespeare, Thoreau, or Whitman?  Why don’t you meander through WordPress or Blogspot looking for a lonely post that is incredibly well written, but not shared on 500 of your friends Facebook walls? Why don’t you dive into those texts and cling to your own meaning of life and understanding the world around you? Why don’t you call your best friend, meet your grandma for coffee, write a hand written love letter, or go for a hike (maybe even alone)? Why don’t you create something yourself? Why don’t you live the precious life that is anxiously awaiting you? Not only will you understand those lists better, but you will also learn to live by your own distinctive beating heart, soul, and mind not someone else’s preconceived notions of the keys to your happiness.

I urge you, my friends, fellow bloggers, readers, Buzzfeeders, and Thought Catalogers: don’t just be nuances of our universe. Find your voice. Find your happiness. I guarantee it isn’t presented to you in a neat and tidy list. Embrace your life, enhance your life, but never settle to define your life or your choices based on someone else’s reality. Shamelessly slipping into hypocrisy I have a list for you. Here is the key to happiness. 1.  Define yourself. 

Pretty Girls are People, Too.

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Powerful stuff! This hit too close to home not to reblog!

Mrs. Roberson's avatarAvoiding Neverland

My sister once asked me how I managed to be both valedictorian and prom queen of my graduating class.  Nerd and popular don’t often mix.  It took several hours to figure out the answer.

I moved.

When I was 16 years old my family moved from Texas to Maryland.  In my new school, no one knew the awkward 14-year-old with braces. Instead, they met the 16-year-old me right after a Texan summer of life guarding, tanned skin, sunny blond highlights, and all.  One boy asked me out two days after we moved.  Another started leaving anonymous love notes in my locker.    And that was before I got a haircut that started turning heads as I walked down the street.  

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The Most Beautiful People

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Since my last post I have been busy teaching, binge watching Orange is the New Black, picking up a new workout and hobby (Muay Thai) and traveling. I realized I only wrote a draft for this but never posted it, so I will post two in a row to make things less confusing. I love my blog but I also love writing for myself. Blogs can be for yourself but I believe when you write with the knowledge that you have an audience you subconsciously change the way you present your thoughts and emotions. Some thoughts and emotions of this journey I have to hash out on my own…

Jackie and I decided to explore Suphanburi again for a weekend. Teaching is extremely draining and we don’t want to wear ourselves out by pushing ourselves to explore too much, too soon. The last few weeks were all about getting back into a routine healthy lifestyle that I have somewhat neglected in my adjustment to this new world. I am an avid runner and gym-goer who enjoys eating a healthy diet with occasional splurges. I loved to cook for myself back in the US, so eating out every night was a huge adjustment. I also have been warned by just about every person I talk to that I should never run alone here, so that kind of cancels running out of the equation. Luckily, there are many alternatives to explore. I have been going to yoga class with foreign teachers from my school twice a week and I have started up the Insanity dvds (once again).  I swear it is an addiction…

One day on the songtow (mini bus) on my way to yoga, a young Thai girl asked me where I was going in an extremely Western sounding accent. Surprised, I told her I was going to yoga class and she asked if Jackie and I were interested in coming to Muay Thai class instead. Without hesitation… we both replied, “Sure!” Our impulsive attitudes are a great asset to traveling (but sometimes a burden to our bank accounts 😉 ) Muay Thai is martial arts/boxing style fighting that is famous all over Thailand and the world. It was extremely awkward walking into a huge open gym with dozens of half naked Thai children in silky high waisted boxing shorts.

The young girl explained to us that she studied abroad in the US two years ago (explained her impeccable English) and that she would translate for us. The Muay Thai instructor spoke very little English but he was very excited to have us there and paid a lot of attention to us throughout the workout. We worked on kicking, kneeing, elbows, push ups, sit ups and a variety of moves and by the end we felt tired, sweaty and accomplished.  He invited us back whenever we want and we have already been again a few times! It is a great workout and despite the stares burning through us as we awkwardly attempt the moves, it is a lot of fun too! Plus… it’s free… which is a great thing no matter what country or continent you are on.  I love working out and anything that makes you sweat. I love the challenge and I love endorphins. I am addicted to the way I feel after a great workout, no matter what that workout may be. I am so excited to have a variety of options to keep me active and release my hyperactive energy in a positive form.

School remains exciting and challenging everyday. Everyday I realize things about my students and about teaching EFL that I didn’t know the day before. It is frustrating but it is also motivating to discover the most affective ways to help our students better not only their English but also their lives! I enjoy the fact that my job is like a constant riddle or puzzle, which takes tons of patience, creativity, resilience and thinking to be successful. I feel stimulated by this task that others may find daunting. That’s how I know that teaching is the right job for me! I depend on my kids just as much as they depend on me. They are my constant in this new adventure and they give me purpose when I feel like a lonely traveler, when I miss home, when I struggle to maintain my old life and embrace my new one.

In today’s society we expect instant gratification for every aspect of life. We expect every question to have an answer that we can find from a quick Google search. We expect to understand our culture shock and moving away from the ones we love and care about the most. We expect for long distance love to be hard but we don’t really know how hard it will be. Life is messy, human beings are complex, no matter how much the world around us changes and advances, our minds and our hearts are primitive. Our pain is raw. Our love is powerful. Our sadness prevails. Our kindness prevails. Human beings and their emotions don’t fit into the Google search page. I wish I could read a book, “What to do when your life changes” but no advice in the world could prepare me for the emotional roller coaster that I have been on in this fresh chapter of my life. One day at a time… That is the only way to tackle this beast. You can’t break down the world’s wicked ways no matter how hard you try. Some days simply breathing should be enough to be grateful for. Now matter how hard I try, I know I can’t fix everything all at once, but I can fix the way I allow it to affect me. I can let it drive me to be better:  more compassionate, gentle, and mindful. Every single person fights their own battles and it only is easier if we lean on each other when we cannot stand on our own.Human beings hate being vulnerable but vulnerability is an exceptional part of being a human being.

For someone who loves to help and give advice to friends and family, it is difficult to admit I don’t have the answers or even the right questions. It is difficult to admit my utter vulnerability but I can’t escape it and  I am doing the best I can. “Even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on okay…”

“If you look closely at a tree you’ll notice it’s knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully. ” Matthew Fox

“It’s not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”  Stephen Fry

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. “ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross